ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
