I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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