very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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