who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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