she was so not down for the gang bang
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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