ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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