Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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