Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
