If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
