Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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