we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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