thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
