you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize