i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize