You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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