I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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