I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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