"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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