I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
