I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize