Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
