why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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