Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
