I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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