I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
