I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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