i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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