I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
