I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
