I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to make out with him forever
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
