I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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