I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
