Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize