bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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