her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
