i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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