you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
