arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
