check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
