Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
