so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
