but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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