yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
