I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
