she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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