you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize