My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
