I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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