A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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