All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
