You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
