Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
