Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
