How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
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He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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