Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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