I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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