Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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