How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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