Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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