My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
