when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
